Tag Archives: what is this i don’t even

Watching Oprah

So this man is a 2-time murderer in jail FOR LIFE WITH NO POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE and he just got married–but I don’t have a boyfriend. Just so we’re all clear on what’s going on here. In other news, my … Continue reading

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They’re not all winners…

At least it still tastes good.

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Best. Spam Comment. Ever.

In case that is too small to read: “Entitle to all men classify how take away ended and paltry is the power of kings,” Canute said, “for there is no person luminary of the name, but He whom nirvana, soil … Continue reading

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And the coroner’s report will say, “Cause of death: Asphyxiation due to extreme laughter because what the hell is she even talking about??”

Coroner’s reports can be very detailed.

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God bless America

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Why do I take on projects like “cleaning out the freezer” when I am supposed to be reading 5 books right now??

  And also, why is the freezer drawer covered in something that looks like it came from the set of Alex Mack??

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You ever go to a party, come home, and realize that your white skirt is covered in blood and have NO IDEA where that blood came from–only that it isn’t yours?

No? Guess it’s just me then.

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Everybody poops!

This is a fact! Proved by science! Probably. I don’t know; I’m not sure. I was an arts major. What I am sure of though is that everybody who poops can open a window so that everybody else does not … Continue reading

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