Tag Archives: how my mind works

An actual thought I had today

‎”I should go on Biggest Loser, lose a bunch of weight, and then keep my fat clothes so I can sneak popcorn into the movies.”

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Going through my contact list is like an episode of Hoarders.

“Ok, I know I worked with that person 5 years ago and we haven’t spoken since, but I can’t delete their number. WHAT IF I NEED TO CALL THEM???”

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I went back to the stairs today

And this had already been painted over–but not the graffiti. Seemed a curious choice of priorities. Also, I’m surprised at how underwhelmed I am by the sun coming out. Like finally getting a phone call from that person you want … Continue reading

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A pro-tip

When peeling unripe plaintains, USE A KNIFE, lest you inadvertently lodge a piece of said plaintain under your fingernail causing it to throb and ache for hours, even after taking two Excedrin, proving to you that the Chinese should apologize … Continue reading

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