But that’s not the point because I just read this and it is perfect:
I find myself in that awkward predicament where I actually really like being recognized as pretty. But I realize that “prettiness” in and of itself is a useless category. But then it’s not because I’m a woman and prettiness is viewed as a major point of me being alive, pretty much on the same level as being smart or successful.
I find myself battling with this a lot. As a former ugly duckling, I pretty much had to arm myself with things that allowed me to gain some kind of recognition and respect. So I developed a sense of humor and was really smart and treated everyone kindly. I was quick to be everyone’s best friend and since I was totally invaluable when it came to attractiveness, I developed skills to supplement it that made me worth being around, socially. But now that I’ve entered a phase where I’m recognized for being good looking, I get very uncomfortable and critical of it sometimes. I hate that prettiness matters so much to me and so much to other people but I can’t deny that it does. I like being pretty and viewed as pretty but I know that I shouldn’t need that, that I have all these other things working for me as well. It sucks to feel like all that shit combined doesn’t even measure up all that much against the currency of beauty.