In no particular order,
- A tragic thing happened at a movie theatre, which I found (no terrible pun intended) incredibly triggering because it made me realize that I always say “my brother died” and never “my brother was murdered” or “my brother was killed.”
- The queen of England jumped out of a helicopter.
- I was unofficially diagnosed with high-functioning A.D.D. (but I already have too many adjectives so that is ridiculous).
- I went on 3 dates with an Argentinean guy who was “crazy about me” and told me over and over again how pretty/beautiful I am and when I asked him what he actually liked about me, aside from the genetics that I had nothing to do with, he could not name a single thing.
- So I stopped talking to him.
- I picked strawberries in Oxnard.
- My cousin got cancer.
- My cousin stopped having cancer.
- I made a new Brit friend (Londoner) with whom I alternate between taking the piss and discussing the Andromeda Galaxy, Barnum Statements and various existential dilemmas at way past tomorrow o’clock in the morning.
- We also talk about pancakes. (I learned that Brits put lemon and sugar on their pancakes and also that that is delicious!)
- I ate a half a French cookie with mild ill effects leading me to believe that I am not, in fact, allergic to wheat, but rather, I am allergic to American wheat. Because of course.
- I made a very big decision about a very big thing after a very big talk and I can’t wait until I’m ready to write about it.
- I lost my keys and a stranger stuck them in the side of a parking sign, where I found them, hours later.
- I got punched in the face doing Crossfit.
- I’ve fallen back in love with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos & Fritos.
- Scientologists may be following me.