Like anything makes any sense

Colleen: Omg your life is so coincidental sometimes…like scary
Me: See??? See why I’m half crazy all the time!??
Colleen: Or maybe everyone’s life is like that, but no one takes the time to notice like you do. Hmmmmmmmm…
Me: I wish I could turn it off. I would LOVE to notice less. Believe me.

I don’t know if I’ll ever tell the whole story. I’ve started to at different times, but it feels like a violation of privacy, like it’s only half mine to tell.

Here, now, I just want to document the things I’ve done to try to forget over the past 2 years:

-I went out for a friend’s birthday and when I got to the bar, the first person I saw was someone who looked like him, dressed like him. Ignore him, I thought. Oh, but I can’t. Because he’s my friend’s friend and is therefore around the entire night.

-Went to work to distract myself by hosting trivia and met another friend of a friend. 

-Went to flirt with the cute bartender with the charming southern accent and the two TV screens behind him were playing his favorite movie.

-Deleted his picture from my phone. IT CAME BACK. It kept coming back. For a while.

-Just now, before I decided to write this something else happened that I don’t even want to detail because it makes me feel like a crazy person.

So I often wonder if other people’s lives are like this or if I am uniquely sensitive. It doesn’t happen with everything. And I can’t make it happen when I want it to.

Anyway, this is the last I want to say about it because I am already tired of talking about it.

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About J.

A former twentysomething with a head full of curls and heart full of questions wondering: when we get to nirvana, will there be food?
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