Excerpts of a day in the life.
My 9 yr. old: What’s the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?
Me, to myself: Umm, taking 6 shots in a frat house when I was underage before I knew my (abysmally low) tolerance to alcohol.
Me, to her: Umm….driving home to Miami from Orlando when I was reeeeeeeeeeaaaallly tired.
Later, during dinner
Me, to myself: Oh lord, how do I tell a 5, 7 and 9 yr. old that they should stop, excitedly, telling me about how their nanny illegally immigrated?
Afterwards, stopped by Caffe Luxe 5 minutes after closing (because there were still people sitting inside).
Me: Would it at all be possible to still get something?
Barista in the back: We’re cashing out the drawer.
Barista in the front: How about I’ll make it for you and I just won’t charge you. How about that?
And then a very important thought while I was driving home:
I wonder what happens if you do coke & heroin at the same time. Do they cancel themselves out? Like when I watch Oprah’s Lifeclass and then follow it with Basketball Wives.
Wait a second, was this the time we drove up to Orlando to go to Islands of Adventure for the day and you were so tired that you were hallucinating that trees were walking across the highway, yet you refused to let any of us drive? If so, this is insane that I’m reading this today because I totally thought about that experience earlier this week. I’m being 100% serious. We must have some Taurus telepathy going on!