It’s weird and there should be a word for it

When you babysit for someone who has the same last name as someone who has gone from everything to ashes and you’re reminded how much you used to want that name to follow your own when now you two could stand face to face and still not see each other.

Especially when tangentially to all that someone–a different someone–has a birthday coming up and you’d like to extend well wishes only they stopped talking to you so you feel foolish for even having the inclination and why can’t you just forget like a normal person?

It’s been an 18-hour day working 3 jobs. I just need to go to bed.

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About J.

A former twentysomething with a head full of curls and heart full of questions wondering: when we get to nirvana, will there be food?
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