A conversation…in progress?

A guy I went to high school with posted a tweet from someone else which read,

“Loose women, seldom tie the knot.”

(I don’t know what that comma’s doing there either.)

I responded: “Loose women” aren’t loose by themselves.

To which he replied: Yes they are! Some women, especially loose women are so secretive that they may get with a man or woman and you may never know that they’re a whore. It’s all in the trickery so once again this applies to loose women. Lol @ what appeared to be a “slight defense” of loose women. Smh

(Smh = shaking my head)

I said: Then allow me to elaborate:
I bristle at slut-shaming because I think it’s divisive, Puritanical and almost universally hypocritical. My point in saying that loose women aren’t loose by themselves is to say that they are having all this “loose sex” with consensual partners. They’re not kidnapping people and keeping them in sex dungeons. They’re participating in an act that both parties agreed to participate in, and yet the woman gets the label, not the man. Also, no one seems to be worried if loose men are tying the knot, only women.
And what makes a woman loose? Whose definition are we going by? Is it when she’s slept with 5 guys? 10? 20? What if they were all meaningful relationships? Does that count or does it just boil down to number? There is no standard. It seems to me that when a man (and I’m speaking generally here) calls a woman a whore what he is really saying is, “You don’t have sex in the way that I think you should!”
Now, to address your point of saying “and you may never know…” if we’re talking deception, then yeah, that is fucked up and damaging and disrespectful and potentially dangerous, but that applies to both sexes. Men and women should both be honest.
My issue with statements like these, and with slut-shaming in general, is that it posits that a woman’s worth, or in this case, ability to be loved, is tied directly to the amount of sex she has and that once she has surpassed some subjective amount, she stops being worthy.

I don’t know if he’ll respond to that or not. I’ll update if he does.

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About J.

A former twentysomething with a head full of curls and heart full of questions wondering: when we get to nirvana, will there be food?
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2 Responses to A conversation…in progress?

  1. amazingg0477 says:

    Amen!! Preaching to the choir. Although, the thought of holding someone in a sex dungeon (with their consent, of course) sounds appealing…
    You can’t be a slutty slut all by your lonesome. It takes two, or three, or however many fit on the waterbed at once.

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