Patient: “So doc, I’m a little nervous about this procedure. Can you walk me through it?”
Doctor Palin: “Well I’m gonna git on there and just, you know, take it out. I’m gonna git in there and take it out so you won’t have it anymore, so you won’t be sick anymore. And then you’re…uh…going to be better and it’ll, you know, be gone. It’ll just all be gone.”
You’re right, too much of a stretch. Gotta dumb it down… How about a waitress version of Palin?
Customer: “What’s the special of the day?”
Waitress Palin: “Our special…uh…cod. The Cod Special.”
Customer: “Okay. How’s that prepared and does it come with anything?”
Waitress Palin: “Well…uh…that’s a good question and…uh…I appreciate you asking that question because it’s good. The Special Cod is specially prepared by our fantastic chef who’s just a real good, real hardworkin’ American. He’ll cook that right up for you, special-like, and it’s just delicious. And then I’ll bring it out and you’ll like it, it’s just real tasty.”
Customer: “Okayyyyy…I’ll just have the fish and chips with a Diet Coke.”
Thirty minutes later, no fish and chips, no diet coke.
Customer to random other waiter: “Hey, can you get my waitress…Sarah, yeah her name was Sarah. I ordered the fish and chips with a Diet Coke thirty minutes ago and I haven’t seen her since.”
Random Other Waiter: “Ooh, sorry bro. Sarah just quit. Just up and quit and it was only halfway through her shift.”
Who the fuck thinks this woman can work with Congress and manage a country? Who? And why?????