Yesterday, my friend and fellow Clueless aficionado, Gabe

and I decided to redo common prayers in honor of the fact that Clueless is my bible.

This is what he came up with:

Our Debate Teacher who art in Heaven

Hall be thy name
thy Baldwins come
thy acrylics be done
on Melrose as it is in The Val

Give us this day our Alaia,
and forgive us our polyester hair,
as we forgive those who go through our laundry;
and lead us not below Sunset,
but deliver us from a C in debate. Amen.


Hail Cher, full of 2 bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.
Our Travis is with his board.
Blessed art Ambular among designer imposter perfumes,
and blessed is the makeover of Tai, by Bettys.
Holy Ren and Stimpy, Mother of existentialism,
pray for us sporadically,
now and at the hour of the crimson wave.

And lastly,

Yea as I walk through the Val of the shadow of the Westside Pavilion
I will fear no Monet
For thou art with the Messiah of the DMV
Your Cranberries CD and your cliff’s notes, they comfort me

The Lord’s work, truly.

About J.

A former twentysomething with a head full of curls and heart full of questions wondering: when we get to nirvana, will there be food?
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1 Response to Yesterday, my friend and fellow Clueless aficionado, Gabe

  1. Pingback: 2011, the year of… | Footsteps On Concrete

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