Seriously. It was epic. Imagine this. On loop. Fo(u)r hours.
Sustainable farming practices
The complete disaster known as my senior prom
Black & Milds
Adele’s new album
“I wonder if there are people out there who genuinely don’t like me. The only 2 I can think of are Jennifer Johnson & Vanessa Henderson. High school and college. Oh, and Brandi Clark. Jr. High. Though, in my defense, I don’t get what’s so wrong about saying a girl has a big mouth when she does, in fact, have a big mouth. Haha. Ah well. At least that’s a better reason than thinking my skin is too dark and whatever it was that Vanessa didn’t like about me. Are there others? Do I have enemies?”
Figuring out the reason in the reason/season/lifetime scheme
Hot stone massage
The Hunger Games
Getting cards made that say on the front, “I don’t date and I don’t hook up. Still interested in talking to me?” And then on the back, “Well, I’m not.”
Overripe peach/papier-mâché heart
The way British people say “pa-pee-eh mash-ay”
WHY THE $%^# AM I NOT ASLEEP?!!?!?!?!??!
This is why I can’t have kids