My cousin is pregnant with her second baby. Considering how the first one came out, can you blame her? Seriously, that kid…I can’t even. Anyway.

Focus.

I asked her, “Did I invent that you’d said you didn’t want to have kids?”

And that was her answer, that you make a decision about something because it’s the right thing at the time but later, maybe you reevaluate.  “You know what I mean?” she asked, and I had to laugh because yes, I do. I’m wondering the same thing myself. I’m trying to figure out how I feel about something.

Not questioning whether I did the right thing, because I know that I did, but maybe the right thing at that time isn’t the same thing as the right thing now. Am I so wrapped up owning my disappointment that I’m letting it overshadow what I really want? Or am I just trying to “undo” a difficult decision?

I don’t know.

I’m just trying to figure it out.