Wary after last night’s fiasco which ended with me getting a cinnamon dolce latte instead of the salted caramel hot chocolate I’d come for, and which resulted in a subsequent stomachache.

Me: Do you have any salt?
Barista: No. You want the salted caramel hot chocolate right? Yeah, that was a seasonal winter drink so we don’t have salt anymore. You might find a few stores that still have some left but they’re not shipping it in our orders anymore.
Me: I–I–I have to go.

I wish I were Muslim so I could declare a jihad against them. Wait, is that how jihads work? I don’t know. NOTHING ABOUT HEATING SUGAR AND WATER AND ADDING SODIUM CHLORIDE IS SEASONAL!!!

SCREW YOU STARBUCKS.