I smiled at him. He smiled at me. I said hi. He started blushing and couldn’t speak. Then his mom and I laughed as she pushed the cart away. He was 4 1/2. This is why I’m single.

Also, I am such a snob even to myself; the organic raw honey I bought is not to be eaten–it’s only for my hair. I treat my hair better than I do relationships with actual human beings. Which is probably also why I’m single.