When peeling unripe plaintains, USE A KNIFE, lest you inadvertently lodge a piece of said plaintain under your fingernail causing it to throb and ache for hours, even after taking two Excedrin, proving to you that the Chinese should apologize to the world for introducing the thought of bamboo shoot torture (thank you for fireworks, food and your contribution to Japanese though!), filling your imagination with nightmare visions of infections and amputations (and how are you supposed to take off your bra without an opposable thumb??) which will then lead you to attack your manicure like Birthers do Obama to dislodge it at 3 o’clock in the morning.

Just trust me on this.

Pic not included.