You know what Charlie? I see your downward dog and I raise you opposable thumbs!!

In other news, I was reading Health magazine today as I got my mani-pedi because my vanity will not allow my poverty to infringe upon my middle class aesthetic (and because I had already paid for it through Groupon) and the hypochondriac in me now wonders if my asthma and eczema are not caused by a lack of awesome–because obviously there is no lack–but rather, by a food intolerance.

Could my beloved cheese be ruining my face??

“O serpent heart hid with a flowering face.
Was ever a book containing such vile matter so fairly bound?”

I feel Shakespeare is appropriate here as I consider a life without dairy to be a tragedy of Romeo & Juliet proportions.