I accept your benevolent exoticism.
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Shout out to the guy who tipped me, personally, tonight because “he doesn’t meet a lot of Black women”
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A watched pot never boils
“Cause getting your dreams
It’s strange, but it seems
A little — well — complicated
There’s a kind of a sort of…cost
There’s a couple of things get…lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn’t know you crossed
Until you’ve crossed.”
-Thank Goodness
My parents are worried about me.
I think they should be.
I’m worried about me too.
The jeans I bought that were a perfect snug fit just over 2 weeks ago, can now be taken off without unbuttoning them.
A dress I had taken in before I left, now looks exactly the way it did before any alterations were made.
I’m tired.
Sometimes I find myself feeling a bit dizzy.
The fact of the matter is: I’m not eating enough food and it’s not okay.
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Tagged disordered eating, eating disorders, expat, frida kahlo, Travel, travel writing, wicked
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Coming down with something while you’re job hunting is the worst
All you want to do is nurture your newfound obsession with Game of Thrones nothing but you can’t do nothing what are you crazy do you want to starve STOP WASTING TIME GET IT TOGETHER AND GET A JOB!!!
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It’s probably a little sad
that I was asked tonight what’s the nicest thing a boy has bought for me and I couldn’t think of anything.
I’m hoping that sadness is my failing memory and not an accurate snapshot of an undervalued life.
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Laksa and the lake of fire
Remind me to tell you about the time my hostel mate bought me Thai noodle soup dinner before telling me that I am going to hell.
It was delicious!
Posted in Australia Files, Foodie Files, Uncategorized
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The thing about the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge
Is that they are a lot bigger than they seem. You can’t appreciate how much it took to make them until you see them up close.
The thing about this trip is that it’s a lot bigger than it seems. Coming here has been the single most important, greatest, constant driving force in my life. And I can’t process, can’t find the words to convey, what it feels like to be standing here right now…except to say, if you have a dream, go for it. Even if you don’t understand it, even if it seems, big and faraway and impossible, even if you wonder why you can’t just be a normal person, even if it scares the shit out of you (especially then), even if you spend all your money, even if it takes SEVEN YEARS–it’s worth it. It’s worth it to know that you truly lived this life, that you fought for things worth fighting for.
Like dreams.
Because the Bridge and the Opera House? They started as sketches.
And before that they were just ideas.
I thought that coming here would just be that for me: an idea. I was so scared of so many things. And I still have my worries and doubts–I have no idea what will happen tomorrow–but, if I’ve learned anything from this journey, it’s that “courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”
I know I was meant to come here. I don’t know if that means that things will “work out,” if I’ll stay 10 more months or 10 more years. But standing here, staring at the harbour, I know that I will never have to wonder. I will never have to be someone who talked about something, but didn’t (at least try to) make it happen. I will know that no matter how things turn out, I am better for the impact of everything I’ve done to get here.
And that, is HUGE.
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Posted in Australia Files, Uncategorized
Tagged australia, dreams, Sydney, Sydney Harbour Bridge, Sydney Opera House, Travel, travel writing
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